Yesterday, I was at gymnastics with Bella and one of the other little girls asked Bella where her mommy was. She pointed to me and smiled and waved like she was so happy that I am her mom. I decided then and there that I want to be someone that she can be proud of. I know that my weight does not totally define me but if I am not happy or proud of myself how can I expect Bella to be proud of me?
That is my dirty little secret - I really dislike myself. On the outside I have a very good life. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful little girl, a crazy funny little boy, and a awesome baby boy. I go to church, have friends, but I do not like myself. I can not be the person I want to be while I am overweight. I want to get healthy for my family but most importantly I want to get healthy for me. So that I can be someone that my children can be proud of!
I am not writing this blog to have people tell me that I am a great person and to not worry about my weight. I am writing so that maybe I can help someone else who feels they are falling short because of their weight. I am writing so that I can document my success and my failures. I know I will have a lot of both. I will probably write about funny things my kids do that make me happy and I will try to keep everyone updated on my journey. If no one reads that is fine. It makes me feel better just to write.
Here are my goals.
(1) I will write on this blog at least once a week and talk about how my journey is going.
(2) I want to lose 80 pounds by the time my 10 year wedding anniversary comes (July 2012). That is a lot of weight but I have about 70 weeks until then so that is only a little over a pound a week. I think I can....I think I can.....I think I can....
You can do it! Maybe you will inspire me. I'm praying you meet your goals!
ReplyDeleteOH my gosh Lori, I am so right there with you. Struggled with it all my life. I've lost some, but gained more. I LOVE the fact that you are writing this blog and holding yourself accountable. Your goal seems very realistic, and inspiring. I do hope that you merely dislike that one aspect of yourself and not yourself as a whole. There's a lot more to a woman than just her dress size, and you my dear have a lot to be proud of. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I wish you nothing but the best in your venture.
ReplyDeleteGirl...I completely feel your pain! I am taking this journey with you. You can do it! Don't give up!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies! You have really encouraged me. I have never been open about how I felt before and I thought it might motivate me to really achieve my goals this time if I just put it all out there.
ReplyDeleteLori you are an amazing mom and friend! Gorgeous inside and out! I am proud of you if losing weight is what you want to do to make YOU feel better about yourself. BUT I do want you to know that you are simply an amazing person just the way you are! You are a an amazing example of a Christian, wife, mommy, and friend! Just love you to death! You go girl!!!
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